The Ultimate ZHTF Bug-Out Bike: $3,250
In a ZHTF scenario, you need dependable transportation. And there's nothing more dependable than a KLR. And she's got a little sexy thrown in, too--just enough to make her inviting, but not enough to make your girlfriend jealous.
The Kawasaki KLR is regarded as the perfect motorcycle for a zombie apocalypse, and by more than one author. They're sold by the thousands globally, so no matter where you end up, you'll have parts. Svetlana and I must part, but I've built her up with a survivor in mind.
Your wife won't object, because it's not a crotch rocket, and ultimately, you're buying it for your family's well-being. This dual-sport is just at home on logging roads as it is on the open highway, and it can be loaded down for extended camp trips, as any KLR owner/zombie prepper can attest. See pics above--she camps like a champ.
This 2009 model has a meager 8k miles, which is hardly broken in when it comes to KLR standards. It has Rotopax dual 1-gallon fuel cans mounted to the backs of two Solobox panniers that can hold all the food, tent, sleeping bag, tarps, camp stove, coffee, Spam, and 3 boxes of 9mm ammo you'll need for a week-long gear test.
What's that you say? Your wife insists on bringing an extra AR-15 and a whole case of Spam? No sweat. Strap it to the top of the boxes if they're already full; she can handle it.
It has a GoPro mount on the right front mirror, no body damage, a brand-new battery, great brakes, and grippy new tires. With the 6-gallon fuel tank, you'll still have plenty of fuel long after your riding buddies have run dry, pulled over, and have to defend against zombie hordes.
If you love your family, $3,250 is nothing for this kind of peace of mind.
Forest trail? Gotcha covered.
Highway driving? No prob.
Top of an active volcano? Done it.
Twisty road drive just for funsies? Of course!
Interested in buying Svetlana? Leave a comment if you'd like to keep your family protected during the coming apocalypse.
Russ Craber, MBA, CSCS, has always been concerned about a post-apocalyptic zombie scenario, and can train you for optimal living after the inevitable occurs. You would be well-advised to heed his advice.